Editor’s Note: Meet Nedra McDaniel, a seasoned travel influencer who has embarked on incredible solo, partner and family vacations across the globe. It was her mom who first inspired this love of travel within her, making it difficult for Nedra when her mother was diagnosed with cancer. In this post, Nedra will share her deeply personal cancer connection story and share suggestions for how we can all continue to keep making plans even in the face of a diagnosis.
How My Mom and I Kept Making Plans
Hope is one of the things that you cling to when a loved one receives a cancer diagnosis. When my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer, it was already at a later stage, and we realized quickly that time with her was becoming a precious commodity. So we made it a priority to keep making plans together throughout her cancer journey
One of my favorite memories with her was planning my wedding together. It was during a time in her cancer diagnosis when we didn’t know if she would even live to see my wedding day. But my mom needed something to look forward to, and so did we. So we kept on planning. We picked out a venue together, she saw me try on my dress for the first time and against all odds, she was able to attend my wedding.
She also did more than just attend. She was able to dance the night away at my wedding reception with PURE JOY! That is a memory I will never forget with her.
Small Plans Can Make a Big Impact
After my wedding, we found that making plans continued to help her optimism and outlook on life. It also gave us so many positive memories with her during this tough time. We took vacations together, had a baby shower for her first grandchild and had many family meals and holiday celebrations.
Not all plans have to be big and grand. Spending an afternoon planting flowers or even a simple meal goes a long way.
One of the rare gifts of a cancer diagnosis is that you become keenly aware of how precious health, time and life are with a heightened sense of urgency. It becomes the perspective and lens you filter life through. It can also be the reality check that is sometimes needed to reset or readjust for the things in life that are truly meaningful and important.
You no longer take everyday moments for granted.
Shifting Your Mindset
Dealing with all of the challenges that come with a cancer diagnosis can be difficult. I found that I had to change the way I thought about problems and life. I switched to a rubber band mindset. Essentially, my family and I had to adapt and be stretched when things were uncomfortable. A cancer diagnosis is uncomfortable and emotional for everyone involved, but it is key to keep rolling with the punches and never give up. When things need to pivot and change the flexibility of a rubber band mindset is key.
With my mom, we had to adjust treatment plans for what worked best for her. We wanted to do this with a level of calmness and optimism to keep her spirits high.
Flexibility also calls for us to try to read the room and understand that the energy levels of a cancer patient can change. The evolving change in stamina for activities may mean that our plans may need to be shortened or delayed without much notice.
The shared vulnerability of receiving a cancer diagnosis gives you an opportunity to be brave, step out of your comfort zone, build confidence and celebrate together on the other side.
It may be as simple as writing down a list of questions you’ve never asked each other before about your childhood or hopes and dreams and setting time aside to truly listen to the answers.
Moving Forward
I understand that the fears and uncertainty of a cancer diagnosis can feel crippling at times.
It’s a period of time when life feels like it’s in limbo with everything up in the air with more questions than answers. One of the best ways that you can take back the power of a cancer diagnosis is to keep hope alive for the future by continuing to make plans.
To find out how to get in touch with a cancer team that can help you keep making plans, visit OhioHealth.com or call OhioHealth CancerCall at 1(614) 566-4321 or 1 (800) 752-9119.
