Editor’s Note: Professional runner Molly Bookmyer has seen both sides of a serious medical diagnosis. She’s sharing with us how she used her experience as a patient to help her husband after he was diagnosed with testicular cancer. She will also share some tips on how caregivers can navigate when their loved one receives a cancer diagnosis.
From Athlete to Patient
As an athlete, I have learned that I need to pay close attention to my body. When I listen to my body, I have been able to find answers and navigate the path to healing.
In college, after pressing doctors to help me find answers about some pain I was experiencing, I was diagnosed with a neurocytoma (a benign brain tumor). The doctors found it from doing an MRI scan of my brain searching for a pituitary cyst. They tracked it for two years, but after it continued to grow my team of doctors decided the best course of action was to remove it. Surgeries and recovery were not without complications.
After two surgeries, physical therapy, a seizure and a lot of help from my family I am able to live a full and healthy life. And I am competing as a professional runner, which I would never have imagined a few years back when I was relearning to walk and had to use a walker.
From Patient to Caregiver
My now husband, Eric, was by my side during all of this. We weren’t married yet, but he helped me through some really difficult times. He is calm, loving and my rock. In the summer before our wedding, he was experiencing some back pain. He never really complains or likes to make a big deal about how he feels, so after a few nudges I finally convinced him to go see a doctor. First time he went, they couldn’t find anything wrong, so we chalked it up to a strained muscle.
However, a few months later after our wedding, he was still saying that his back was bothering him. Again, he is not one to complain so I urged him to go back to the doctor. This time his primary care doctor did a full exam followed by a scan and some blood tests and discovered that he had testicular cancer.
I have been on both sides of some big health scares. Being the patient and being the caregiver. Both are hard and both are scary.
What I Learned from Being the Patient and the Caregiver
- If you think something is wrong, advocate for yourself.
- Listen when somebody shares their health concerns, it can be hard for them to speak up.
- Being diagnosed with cancer is scary for both the patient and the caregiver.
After Eric was diagnosed with testicular cancer, life moved quickly. There is not a lot of time to think, and it felt overwhelming. Being the caregiver was something new to me, I was used to being the patient. I did my best to listen and be present as we navigated his treatment.
How to Navigate a Cancer Diagnosis
One of the hardest things was realizing that life does not press pause when major life shifts happen. Some days it would feel as if everyone around us was in one world and we were in a separate one searching for answers and fighting the battle against cancer.
I did my best to be there to support him and did our best to keep life as normal as possible. The best moments were the most simple.
Tips to help your loved one navigate the diagnosis
- Listen to them. It is okay to be scared, allow your loved one to share feelings without judgment.
- Try to keep life normal. A diagnosis does not have to change everything all at once.
- Find joy in your daily routine. Keep up with your hobbies, visit your family, plan a fun date!
- Make plans for the future. It gives you something to look forward to and reminds you that there is a future beyond a cancer diagnosis.
- Find a good cancer team who listens to your needs and treats you with kindness and respect.
Build out your support group. It can be hard to be the sole support person, lean on family, friends, and coworkers to lighten the load. To learn more about OhioHealth Support Groups, search our classes and events database or check out these articles.
Cancer sucks. It does. But a diagnosis does not have to define you and you can still keep making plans. Lean into thrivership, not just survivorship.
To learn more about OhioHealth Cancer Care or to schedule an appointment with one of our cancer physicians, visit OhioHealth.com or call OhioHealth CancerCall at 1(614) 566-4321 or 1 (800) 752-9119.
