Is It Time to Find Care for Your Aging Parent?

Spending time with aging parents and relatives, especially during the holidays, can reveal changes in their health you may not have noticed before. If you’re unsure whether forgetfulness or mood shifts are signs of something more serious, you’re not alone. Recognizing early signs of decline and knowing how to respond is key to ensuring your loved one gets the support they need.

Amy Weeks, LISW-S, a social worker at OhioHealth’s Cognitive Neurology Clinic, stresses, “It’s important to observe patterns in behavior rather than isolated incidents. Repeated forgetfulness or noticeable changes in personality can be red flags that something more serious is happening.” Learn about how to identify signs of decline, start tough conversations and take actionable steps to support your loved one.

Early signs of cognitive decline

Distinguishing normal aging from more serious issues can be challenging. 

Look for patterns of:

• Memory loss: Forgetting important dates, asking the same questions repeatedly or relying heavily on reminders (like many sticky notes) can be red flags. 
• Difficulty with daily tasks: Things like missing bill payments or forgetting common recipe steps may signal a problem. 
• Language struggles: If they have a hard time finding words or staying on track in conversations could signal cognitive changes. 
• Mood shifts: Irritability or withdrawal from favorite activities may be early signs. Weeks explains, “Disengagement and emotional shifts often tie back to cognitive changes.” 
• Social withdrawal: Avoiding gatherings or making excuses to skip activities can signal emotional or cognitive challenges. 

It may be a normal part of aging to forget an appointment and remember it later. But frequent memory lapses or disruptions to daily life may point to something more serious like dementia or Alzheimer’s disease. Some serious concerns to watch for include forgetting important events, struggling with familiar tasks, or experiencing consistent confusion. These are key indicators that it may be time to seek professional help. 

Early intervention once you notice signs of decline in a relative can make a huge difference in managing their symptoms. 

How to start the conversation

Talking to a parent or relative about your concerns can feel overwhelming, but a compassionate approach makes a difference. Weeks advises to “Start with observations rather than accusations. Frame it as concern rather than criticism.”

• Focus on observations: Share what you’ve noticed instead of jumping to conclusions. For example, “Mom, I’m worried you’ve been forgetting appointments lately.”
• Address specific issues: If driving is a concern, ride along to observe firsthand. If they are lacking the motivation to be active, suggest a solution like “Let’s plan to walk together twice a week” to encourage collaboration.
• Be patient: It may take multiple conversations to address their needs fully. “Don’t expect to solve everything in one discussion,” says Weeks.

What can come along with a lot of neurodegenerative conditions is loss of insight. “Basically, this [loss of insight] will seem like denial,” says Weeks. You might be able to provide all kinds of evidence of things that have changed. And the person either doesn’t believe it or blames it on something else.” This can be part of the disease itself because their brain just can’t process information like it used to. Make sure to approach these conversations carefully and thoughtfully with your loved ones. 

Tips for caregivers

Supporting an aging parent can be challenging, especially when they resist help. Weeks recommends starting small to build trust: “Introduce support gradually, like home-delivered meals or a part-time caregiver or housekeeper, to help ease them into the idea.” 

Be prepared for any situation by having a list of doctors, medications and financial details readily available. Setting up legal documents like a power of attorney early can also help ease later stages of caring for your parents.

Creating a safe and comfortable environment for aging parents is essential to prevent accidents and reduce stress. Small adjustments to your home before a visit or stay can make a significant difference. “Even simple updates like better lighting in hallways can make a big difference,” says Weeks.

• Remove trip hazards like area rugs and cluttered walkways.
• Install grab bars and non-slip mats in the bathroom.
• Maintain consistent routines to reduce stress, especially during holidays.

Habits that support brain health

Lifestyle changes play a significant role in maintaining and prolonging brain health. 

Physical activity: 150 minutes of exercise weekly can help manage conditions like diabetes and hypertension, which directly impact brain health. “Physical health and brain health are closely connected, so keeping active can have a big impact,” Weeks explains.

Mental Stimulation: Engage in puzzles, reading or learning something new to keep the mind sharp.

Socialization: A lot of people tend to withdraw from social activities, but they can be vital for neurocognitive longevity. Finding ways to be social in a different, more approachable way like small gatherings or one-on-one activities can help combat isolation.

Diet: Keeping up with a balanced diet also contributes to managing health conditions that can affect the brain. Limiting carbs, focusing on only eating good fats and keeping alcohol intake minimal are all helpful. 

Taking the Next Step

Navigating cognitive decline requires a proactive and compassionate approach. By recognizing the signs, engaging in respectful conversations, and implementing supportive measures, you can ensure your loved one receives the care and assistance they need. 

If you’re concerned about a parent’s memory, mood or daily life, it’s okay to ask for help. Start by having a conversation, seeking expert advice and taking small, actionable steps together.

If you think it is time to get professional help, find the right doctor to help you here.