Looking for a therapist can feel overwhelming, especially if you’ve never been to therapy before or had a not-so-great experience in the past. But finding the right mental health provider is a personal, empowering step — one that can make all the difference in your healing journey. Whether you’re just beginning or seeking a better match, here’s what to consider when choosing a therapist.
Why your relationship with your therapist matters
One of the most important predictors of success in therapy isn’t the type of treatment you receive — it’s the relationship you build with your therapist. According to Amanda Rivera, LISW-S, independent clinician at OhioHealth, this connection creates the emotional safety required to explore challenging topics.
“While therapy might not always be comfortable, you do need to feel safe in therapy to be able to process difficult emotions,” she explains. “That’s a core task of therapy, and the relationship is largely what creates that safe space.”
Rivera explains that for many people, especially those who’ve experienced trauma or identity-based discrimination, a strong therapeutic relationship can be a healing experience in itself — helping to build trust, practice new skills and heal old wounds.
So, how do you know if a therapist is right for you? According to Rivera, green flags that you’ve found a good fit include feeling emotionally safe, respected, validated and challenged. “Despite how hard the subject matter is, if you feel ‘this is a safe place for me to talk about it,’ that’s a big green flag,” says Rivera.
On the flip side, red flags might include feeling dismissed, judged or consistently misunderstood. If you consistently feel like you’re not being listened to or if you feel more anxious after leaving therapy than when you arrived, those might be signs it’s not the right fit. Trust your instincts.
What type of therapy is best for you?
There are many different therapy approaches. Rivera recommends first identifying what you’re hoping to get out of therapy to help understand what types of therapy might be best for you. Are you looking for practical skills? Trying to process trauma? Seeking to understand more about your patterns or relationships?
Once you know your personal goals, it can be easier to figure out what therapy methods might best suit your needs.
Some of the most common techniques are:
- CBT (Cognitive behavioral therapy): Aims to help identify and change negative or unhelpful thinking patterns and behaviors. Skills-focused and structured, CBT is ideal for managing anxiety, depression and behavior change.
- Talk therapy: This conversational, insight-driven approach is among the most common and good for exploring patterns and emotions.
- EMDR (Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing): A psychotherapy treatment primarily used to alleviate the distress associated with traumatic memories.
- Exposure and relapse prevention therapies: Used to help people overcome phobias and anxiety disorders as well as identify and manage triggers.
“Many therapists draw from multiple approaches, and I think that’s really good — rarely is one problem so specific that only one thing will help,” says Rivera. She says not to worry too much about one type of therapy being a perfect match. You can always ask your therapist how they approach treatment and whether it aligns with your needs.
Beyond therapy methods, there’s also the question of whether you would prefer virtual or in-person therapy. Both are effective, so it depends on your preferences. Virtual therapy offers flexibility and can expand your pool of available providers, while in-person sessions may feel more connected for some people. You can always try one, then switch later.
What to ask in a first session
Use a consultation or first session to get a feel for the therapist and their approach.
Ask practical questions, such as:
- What’s your experience treating [your specific concern]?
- How would you describe your therapy style?
- What does progress typically look like in your sessions?
- Do you assign “homework” or is this more conversational?
“It’s also okay to ask logistical questions about fees, scheduling and cancellation policies,” Rivera adds. “You’re interviewing them just as much as they’re getting to know you.”
What if it’s not working?
Therapy is rarely instant. Rivera recommends giving a new therapist three to five sessions before deciding if it’s a good fit — unless you feel unsafe or disrespected, in which case you might make your decision more quickly. “Sometimes it takes a few sessions to build comfort, especially if therapy is new to you,” she says. Therapy can feel awkward at first — but that doesn’t always mean it’s a bad fit.
Not every match is meant to be, and that’s okay. If something feels off, it’s okay to talk about it. “I always encourage my clients to tell me if they feel like something isn’t working or doesn’t feel right,” says Rivera. Sometimes, a conversation can get things back on track — or affirm that it’s time to move on. If you decide to stop seeing your therapist, you’re not obligated to explain — but having a conversation can provide closure and may lead to a referral to someone who’s a better fit.
If you’ve had a bad experience in therapy in the past, Rivera says it can be helpful to tell your new therapist about that experience. “Something about sharing the heaviness with someone else can also feel very relieving,” she says. Telling your therapist about your past experiences can also help shape a better, more supportive environment this time around.
Navigating insurance, cost and credentials
Therapy can be expensive, but options exist. Start by reviewing your behavioral health benefits through your insurance provider and confirm that a therapist accepts your plan.
Other cost-conscious strategies include:
- Asking about sliding scale fees or payment plan options.
- Seeking care through a community mental health center or university training clinic.
- Exploring virtual platforms like BetterHelp or Talkspace.
- Utilizing your workplace’s Employee Assistance Program (EAP) which often offer short-term counseling at reduced or no cost.
When looking for a therapist, always choose a licensed mental health provider. In most states, their title or credentials will begin with an “L” (e.g., LISW, LPCC, LIMFT), and you can verify their license on your state’s board website if needed. Therapists with a PhD or PsyD are also qualified. Rivera warns to be cautious with those who have “coach” titles if what you are seeking is therapy. Coaches may be a great option if you are looking for support around goals and personal development, but coaches may not be clinically trained and don’t follow the same ethical guidelines.
Therapy is for everyone
Therapy is a powerful investment yourself — whether you’re facing major life challenges or simply want space to reflect, grow and feel better. “There’s no problem too big or too small for therapy, and no ‘too soon’ or ‘too late’ to start.” Rivera says. “Creating that space for yourself can be so protective, healing and meaningful.”
Starting therapy can be intimidating. Rivera says it’s common to feel nervous, skeptical or even ashamed. “It takes a lot of courage to seek help,” she says. “And I commend you for even considering it.”
No matter your reasons for seeking out therapy, you deserve a therapist who helps you feel supported, safe and empowered. The right therapist can truly make a difference.
To continue learning about how you can improve mental health, check out more of the OhioHealth Wellness Blogs.
